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September 27, 2004
More Points! More Points!
The rich keep getting richer. Um, and hotter. The Olson Twins got an eight-figure advance this week from Dualstar Video.
Yes.
EIGHT FIGURES. As in, the LEAST it could be is ten million dollars.
Then again, that's beans considering their direct-to-home video sales have topped a billion dollars since 1993.
Your task is simple, since you did such a riotously good job with the last name-the-movie contest: Given the twins' newest riches, give me the name of their next big direct-to-home-video movie. Enter as often as you like. Contest ends Wednesday night and points will be based on personal whim, so if you enter more than once you might win more than once.
Begin.
Posted by Dan at September 27, 2004 08:38 AM
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Comments
It has to be said:
The Olsen Twins: Legal Now
I'll have real ones later.
Posted by: folkbum at September 27, 2004 06:59 PM
So, uh . . . just how clean does this have to be?
Posted by: Joel Caris at September 27, 2004 08:01 PM
This one is a no brainer:
You're Invited to Mary-Kate & Ashley's Orgy
The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley - The Case of the 50 Million Dollar Contract
The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley - The Case of the Lost Dinner
The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley - The Case of the Parental Divorce
The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley - The Case of the Missing Childhood Earnings
Mary-Kate & Ashley On Tour with The Grateful Dead
The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley - The Case of the Popped Cherry
I need to stop. This is like eating M&M's.
Posted by: Ralph at September 27, 2004 08:20 PM
My brain is still stuck on your last movie contest. They won't stop! Today's ideas include Fondling Forrester and RoboCop Rock, the Musical Extravaganza.
I'm just not going to be of help today.
Posted by: folkbum at September 27, 2004 08:22 PM
Robocop Rock. My side hurts.
Posted by: Ralph at September 27, 2004 08:34 PM
New York Minute 2: Handjobs and Highballs
Purge and Prejudice
High Riders
Legal and Loving It
The Challenge 2: Rehab
Ashley and Mary-Kate Cage Match: The Battle For Top Billing
Educational Films:
Staying Thin With Mary-Kate And Ashley
Learn To Count With Mary-Kate’s Ribs
Posted by: Joel Caris at September 27, 2004 09:20 PM
Twins Gone Wild
Posted by: Joel Caris at September 27, 2004 09:28 PM
Raccoon Fever: With Avril Lavigne
Posted by: Joel Caris at September 27, 2004 09:30 PM
The mean streets of Akron. [dun-da!] Crime run rampant. [dun-da!] Corrupt police force. [dun-da!] The only thing standing between you and murder, rape, drugs dealers, and jaywalkers [dun-da!] is really two things. [dun-da!] Meet the new breed of vigilante hero. [dun-da!] Binge [dun-da!] and Purge! [dun-da!]
Starring Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and Adrian Amed, and featuring Fisher Stevens as The Botherer!</announcer voice>
Posted by: folkbum at September 27, 2004 10:15 PM
Mary Kate & Ashley: Reputation For Sale
The Adventures of Mary Kate & Ashley: The Case of the Unexplainable Sex Appeal
The Parent Trap III: Entrapment
Posted by: Mr. E. at September 28, 2004 12:10 AM
Empty House
Mary-Kate & Ashley Learn About Men
The Olsen Twins: Hotter, Richer, and Uncut
Posted by: Alex D. at September 28, 2004 03:59 AM
Purge and Prejudice is a hoot. I'd like to see "Mary Kate and Ashley versus The Rock"
Posted by: Big Dan at September 28, 2004 08:14 AM
Reputation for Sale is a good one too, Mr. E... but I can explain the sex appeal thing.
Posted by: Big Dan at September 28, 2004 08:14 AM
I'm behind the powercurve, I know, but can you really call it an advance when you get it from your own company? I mean, it's already their own money. Yes, it may be the biggest advance an actor has ever gotten on direct-to-discount-rack-dvd roles, but it's sort of like Bill Gates getting a raise.
Oh, and because Big Dan is such a Big Fan of the girls AND Survivor, I leave you with this, which is better than anything I could have made up.
Posted by: Mr. E. at September 29, 2004 01:06 AM
Mr E.,
You rock!
That would have won the contest hands down if it wasn't really real. I expect some of the award points will go your way, not only for that find, but for being willing to search the MK&A archives to find it.
Posted by: Big Dan at September 29, 2004 07:30 AM
I'm a firm believer in the proposition that truth is stranger than fiction. That was quite a find Mr. E. I'm heading down to BlockBuster to pick up my copy. It literally melded Dan's last two contests into one ugly reality.
Posted by: Ralph at September 29, 2004 12:55 PM
Just to merge the discussions further, I think my vote for the Comic Book Adaptation I Hope I Never See ...
SuperFriends, the Movie, with the Olsens as the WonderTwins.
"Shape of ... a Space Vixen!"
"Form of ... something slender and slutty, but made out of water!"
I know, one of them was a boy, but a little license could be allowed, for the sake of profit.
Posted by: Mr. E. at September 30, 2004 06:31 AM
Great Scott! We're TOO LATE!!
Posted by: Mr. E. at October 1, 2004 09:41 AM
Mr. E.,
Well, that's just dumb.
Posted by: Big Dan at October 1, 2004 09:52 AM
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