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January 11, 2005

Well, is there anything I CAN eat?

So far the diet is going along, you know, at about the pace that time passes.

Here it is:

No sugars. This is the big one. If all else failed, I'd still have to stop it with the sugars. Cancer cells LOVE sugars. The PETscan itself is based on the concept that cancer cells will absorb more sugars and in different ways than healthy cells. No more chocolate milkshakes for a while.

No caffeine. I can survive this one.

No red meat. What? WHAT? No burger? No steaks? Oh, and also no pork. Man, this sucks. If I'm gonna eat, I like for something to have to die. And I really do like red meat. It makes me aggressive. The ladies love that.

Only distilled water. No biggie, I just have to remember to keep hitting the Giant Eagle, where it's, like, 67 cents a gallon.

No dairy. Because dairy converts to sugar, which converts to rampant cancer cells. I heard Charles Atlas say once he didn't eat dairy after he became an adult because it was unnatural. Makes sense... babies get weaned off the milk once they mature. Still, I love milk and ice cream (again, specifically chocolate milk shakes).

Nothing fried. Well, it hardly matters at this point. Anything I'd want to fry is pretty much off the list anyway.

So far I've had good luck with substitutes. Soy stuff (milk, bread, whatever) is just wrong-tasting to me, but I really like rice-based foods. There's a type of "cheese" that tastes just like Kraft American, and Rice milk is a bit different, but not bad at all. On the pseudo-meat front, Boca Burgers really are tasty. Of course, nothing's as good as the high-fat diet most of us are used to, but it's really not as bad out there in healthyland as it sounds (just more expensive). There is even an all-natural sweetener called Stevia that replaces sugar and honey, and is in fact sweeter than both, but you have to just use a drop or so or else it becomes overwhelming to the point of being disgusting.

The diet is all my idea, with help gleaned from health food nuts and cancer survivors. There is no proof that any of it helps fight cancer, but if nothing else it makes me feel like I'm participating, if you know what I mean.

I'll post the supplements I'm taking tomorrow or the next day. Probably not tomorrow, because I'm off to Cleveland for a rather painful biopsy, then probably home late in the rain. Prayers, mojo, kind thoughts, warm auras, and good energies all accepted.

For now, I have to run... there's a big meal of styrofoam and grass clippings calling my name!

MMMmmmm.... grass clippings!

Posted by Dan at January 11, 2005 07:41 PM

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As a vegetarian--yes, Boca Burgers aren't bad at all. The Gardenburgers that are made to taste like regular burgers aren't bad either--in fact, I might prefer them just a bit to the Boca Burgers.

In general, there's TONS of fake meat products out there these days, which helps me immensely. I always thought the fake hot dogs did a pretty good job of matching up with the real things, as well. But then, I'm still not convinced there's meat in the real ones, either.

Oh, and that no sugar thing is horribly evil. That would easily be the big one for me, as well.

Posted by: Joel Caris at January 12, 2005 01:34 AM

Geez, and you've already lost 85 pounds last year.

Posted by: Ara at January 12, 2005 08:22 AM

Ara, the hell of it is, I'm not supposed to lose any more weight. Losing weight is apparently a no-no for cancer patients.

How am I supposed to maintain my weight on whatever plaster-based snacks they're serving me?

Posted by: Big Dan at January 12, 2005 07:14 PM

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