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February 03, 2005

Popping Cancer Update: I just got up! I think I'll go to bed.

Tired and weak today.

Less nausea, but if this is how it feels two days after two-of-three treatments, the full course must be a humdinger.

No word on treatment yet, so I am presuming for now we're skipping treatment 3-of-3 this time around and that I'll be getting that catheter placed in the next week or so.

Maybe this will give me a chance to get some rest for the next treatment.

I alternated attitudes last night, between wanting to give up and steely reserve that God isn't done with me yet. I have to tell myself I'll be sick for a while so I can be healthy later.

That will work if I can heal up reasonably well between treatments, too.

Still, you feel a different kind of sick on chemo. It's a draining, used-up kind of down. Like you can't function and you won't be able to again. It's just there. Not like the flu or like anything else I could compare it to. It's just there and it has its way with you.

The trick, again, is to let yourself know that it won't be forever. Just a few days and I'll be at least able to function again.

Adding to this is guilt. Mrs. Popping Culture is sick and still has to take care of me. Before, when I was a teenager, it was just me and the bad feeling, but now I think of her before I do myself.

Still, if I really do have 2.5 weeks before the next treatment, I should eventually take to feeling well and being able to gear up better for treatments.

More later: rest now.

Posted by Dan at February 3, 2005 09:20 AM

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Watch out for Mrs. Popping Culture. She may be playing you player.
Or...she may actually be sick. The trick is to seperate the wife from the fish-wife. Remember that she is in control though. She really doesn't "have" to take care of you. She just does it.
I'll watch Oprah this afternoon and figure all this out. I'll get back to you.

Posted by: Jim at February 3, 2005 11:56 AM

Oh Jim! While your watching Oprah... Can you find out what it means when a hubby stays home because his wife has the flu, two out of three sons are sick with other things, the kitchen sink is clogged, the washing machine is broke, and last but not least, he is behind in his studies for school? I thought Professors at seminaries are suppose to be compassionate? ;)

Dan: Take good care of Mrs. Popping Culture! It sounds like she must be a saint to live with you... heh heh

Posted by: Cam at February 3, 2005 12:23 PM

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