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April 23, 2005

A sort-of cancer reflection, I think.

I first posted this way back on January 11. I didn't know the connection then, and I don't know the connection now, but for some reason tonight this post forced itself into my head again. I re-post if for you now. Maybe you can make connections.

Some things stay.

When I was a kid, maybe 8 or 9, I took a hammer from my father's tools. I wasn't supposed to touch it but I took it anyway and went out into the neighborhood with it one Saturday morning.

I don't think it was a sin, mind you. I am a firm believer in the idea that a little mischief is necessary for a kid to grow up healthy. You can spot the kids that didn't get into any mischief pretty easily once they've grown to be adults.

That is beside the point.

I took the hammer and found a pile of rubbish. The men with trucks and bulldozers were building a new housing development not far from the development I lived in and, of course, they were off on Saturday.

So I hit whatever trash I could find with the hammer. Just to see what would happen, I guess.

On one particular swing, I missed badly whatever I was swinging at. The hammer carried through and I, not able to control its weight, hit myself in the shin, hard.

My leg was bleeding and pressure didn't make it stop. So I went home.

When it healed, there was a little crater-shaped indention in my leg that remains to this day. For some reason, tonight I was thinking about cancer, and some of the stories from my own life, and I found myself subconciously running my finger over that indention.

I don't know why I feel compelled to write this, or why I think it belongs with the cancer posts, but I do and it does.

Posted by Dan at April 23, 2005 09:15 PM

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