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May 31, 2005
Good News! I'm going away and cool people are replacing me!
When I go on vacation (June 10-17), you won't be without culture! Sheila from The Sheila Variations and Joel from The Between (both accessable from the right toolbar) have agreed to help keep the ship running and have been given the keys to the kingdom while I'm away!
I should be near Internet access, so I'll probably toss up a post or two as well, but insomuch as I'll be at the beach, don't hold your breath.
Sheila and Joel should be getting their Popping Culture access cards, retinal scans and passports soon, and they have permission to put up some test posts and whatever else strikes their fancy in the meantime, so please make them feel welcome when they get here.
C'mon and get here already, June 10th!
Posted by Dan at 08:33 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Reason to Live #1: The Friendship Cup
Established in 1993 among a trio of novice golfers including your humble host, Jim and Scott, the Friendship Cup is traditionally awarded whenever all of the participants can convince their wives to let them go golfing instead of doing chores. Needless to say, this is a rare event indeed.
Our friend Doug was later added in the interest of creating a foursome, but this later proved to be a mistake, since Doug has the rudimentary beginnings of what could be considered golfing skills, which is more than the rest of us could claim.
Whenever the four of us can gather, the cupholder brings the trophy to the field of competition, and that day's winner takes the cup home after a ceremony wherein he writes his name and date on the ball he used on the 18th hole and places it in the cup, securing his place for all eternity.
Right now Doug has the cup, but he has been the unfortunate beneficiary of my move away from Virginia (where the other three cup-challengers live) and my bout with cancer, which has stalled competition and kept the cup in his possession longer than the bum deserves.
In the picture, you can see two golf balls resting atop the coveted trophy. On the left is the first ball ever to win the Friendship Cup. Note the word "Dan" on that ball. I earned that win, too, not with play on the links, but by overcoming the creative scoring techniques employed by Jim and Scott in the inaugural event. Alas, I have not held the cup since. The other ball, I think, is the most recent Doug win. Yadda yadda.
Suffice it to say that Cup competition separates the men from the rodents. Chemotherapy is cleansing me, making me whole, staightening the hitch in my backswing. I will emerge from cancer - I MUST emerge from cancer - to once again claim my rightful rank as cupholder. Beware, Jim, Scott and Doug. We will soon once again separate the men from the rodents. Or shall I say, me from you.
Oh, and this is you:
Nyah Nyah.
Posted by Dan at 03:29 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
New ad campaign reveals worst-kept secret in history.
Posted by Dan at 03:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
China has their own version of American Idol and it has THE COOLEST NAME EVER.
The Mongolian Cow Sour Sour Yogurt Super Girl contest.
Posted by Dan at 03:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
ESPN drops contract to cover NHL.
Even if the National Hockey League DOES play next year, ESPN won't cover the games, saying they need to be more "TV-friendly." The move will cost the NHL yet another $60 million.
In related news, nobody cares.
Posted by Dan at 02:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
From Popping Culture's "Does the punishment fit the crime?" Desk
Man freed after serving 35 years in prison for stealing a 19-inch black an white television.
Key quotes:
Under an old law, the late Judge Pou Bailey sentenced Allen to life in prison for sneaking into the unlocked house of Lessie Johnson, 87, near Benson and stealing her 19-inch black-and-white Motorola TV. Allen, a migrant farm worker at a nearby camp, was 30.
The harshest punishment the offense could draw now is about three years in prison.
"We've got an in-house joke here: How much time would he have gotten if he had stolen a color TV?"
Posted by Dan at 02:45 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Things they don't teach you about in journalism school.
A TV girl was sent to report on an orphan squirrel being raised by a pet cat — and killed the rodent by accidentally stepping on it.
Inka Blumensaat, of German station NDR, had hoped to film the heartwarming tale of the unlikely animal pals.
But it all went wrong as the squirrel climbed up her leg and she panicked.
Cat owner Heike Reher, 45, of Luebeck, said: “She leapt about like a mad woman and squashed it.
“Everyone looked in horror where the squirrel lay in a pool of blood. I was in tears.”
Story in The Sun.
Posted by Dan at 09:54 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 30, 2005
Memorial Day is a day when even dogs and babies get along.
Posted by Dan at 08:34 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Popping Culture Reflection: His strength made perfect in my weakness.
2 Cor 12:9-10
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
As a pastor, my goal, first and foremost was to serve as a "midwife of Grace" to those in my congregation. They would trust me enough to let me enter their most private lives, traumas, crises and conflicts and I would hope to serve as a sort of touchable representative of God.
In many ways, even the most dedicated pastor is in danger of seeing himself as a kind of empowered emissary of God who can rely solely on his own ability. I learned to identify certain danger signs in the life of a church or in the lives of individuals, and found myself therefore in danger of losing the perception of that "still, small voice." I became able to solve many administrative problems creatively, and found myself in danger of losing sight of what God had in mind for the church. As a writer, I found myself in danger of writing pretty sermons that sounded great and got wonderful feedback, yet fell short of the mark of delivering the message that needed to get across.
Most dangerously, as a professional "midwife of Grace," I lost, or nearly lost, the ability to see the workings of Grace in my own life. After all, I tell my congregation that I am just another human on the journey like they are. I tell them that, and on the surface I believe it, but after serving in enough hospital rooms, living rooms, conference rooms and pulpits, it's easy to elevate yourself. To think that since you deliver Grace and point people to it, that you don't need it yourself.
And then you get sick. Really sick.
Now who needs Grace, tough guy?
I found these words written by Reverend William Chidester, also from Ohio, who had liver disease:
"During my hospital stay I cannot begin to tell you what kind of support I received from my friends. What has been impressed upon me in ways that I will never forget is this - as a minister I spend much of my time caring for and about others. I am affirmed in the process of doing this. So here I am working to earn people's love, trust and admiration by being the best possible minister I can. Yet I was never able to do enough. Then I find something I can't do, function with my own liver, and it is out of my weakness that the grace of God is revealed. Because of what I can't do, I have been affirmed in these people's support and love beyond anything I thought possible."
If I had never been sick, I would never have felt Grace in a way that didn't need to feel earned, somehow. The people of my church, my friends, have stepped up and forced me into a new perspective, and for that I am grateful. Because of their constant cards, calls, meals, gifts and other support, I am able finally to feel and see Grace, not just deliver it to others.
Posted by Dan at 08:06 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Happy Memorial Day!
Today it would be a good idea to visit this website.
Posted by Dan at 12:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 29, 2005
Eye Candy
Nighthawks
by Edward Hopper
Yes, this has made its way onto Popping Culture a few times before, often with long commentary. Still, I think it might be my favorite important painting ever, so expect it to bubble up from time to time.
Posted by Dan at 10:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
I may have pushed the wrong button.
Posted by Dan at 01:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Popping Cancer Updates: could it be a bug?
My temperature is back down near normal. At least part of what was going on was dehydration caused by too much Lasix and not enough complementary liquid. This is my own diagnosis.
I felt feverish, weak, headachey, and my blood pressure (usually on the high side) stayed low: all symptoms of dehydration. Once I went on a drinking binge yesterday I started to feel better.
Until the evening when I started coughing. I have a wicked cough now and decreased appetite. My temperature and blood pressure (the two things I can monitor at home) are normal. I guess they'll check my blood Wednesday before chemo, but I'd like to be on my feet before then. If I still feel bad Sunday, I'll call first thing Monday for blood work.
I feel like I've been in bed since Wednesday, but that's just because I've been in bed since Wednesday. Still, the whole pushing fluids thing helped out, so that's good news.
It's the details that kill you with cancer. It's the treatment that gets you, or the little things that crop up once they start knocking down your defensive systems.
Cancer is a jerk.
Posted by Dan at 02:39 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 28, 2005
Star Wars Easter Eggs.
Here are a few interesting tidbits you probably missed during your first viewing of Star Wars: Episode III, including a kitchen sink and the Millennium Falcon.
Via Boing Boing.
Posted by Dan at 08:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Eye Candy: Modern Art?
Look what you can do with sidewalk chalk.
Posted by Dan at 08:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Popping Cancer Update: Saturday temperatures
7:50 a.m.: 99.1
This is a good sign. Anything over 100.5 is a problem. Normally every night at around 6 or 7 p.m. I get a fever, so that might have made my temperature spike higher before bed last night. I'll be posting more here later, so stay tuned.
Noon: 99.7
Creeping up there, but I don't care as long as we don't get over 100.5. I had been sleeping under a heavy comforter so that might have raised the temp. It also occurs to me that I may be dehydrated. I've been taking Lasix to get the fluid out of my lungs and maybe I should be replacing liquids better. I had some koolaid and now I'm going back to bed.
Posted by Dan at 08:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 27, 2005
Don't look at this picture under any circumstances.
When I posted the Titanic picture, something in my little brain (for I am a bear of little brain) seemed to remember that there was another disturbing picture that Joel was fond of. I did a quick search and voila!
Two things to note are the pleasant smile on the woman's face and the little guy in the oven. Sleep well!
Posted by Dan at 10:17 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Popping Culture Update: Your host takes a turn.
Well, we know why I've felt so bad the last couple days. Tonight, my temperature got as high as 101.2. If it's still that high tomorrow morning, I have to go back to the hospital.
I don't like the hospital.
Time to start again with the prayers, happy thoughts, good mojo, joyous voodoo, power crystal alignment, or whatever you can send my way. If I go in the hospital now, there's a chance that the vacation is in danger. That's a negative in my book. Although, to be honest, at this point I'd drag myself to a week off if I looked like Anakin when Obi Wan left him on the Lava Planet (alert! geek reference!).
Help me out here. For my part, I'm taking several adult doses of Nyquil and going to bed.
Posted by Dan at 10:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Here's a game of chess that gets harder to win the better you play.
Key rule:
3. Illegal moves are permissible as long as neither player notices.
Link via Dave Barry.
Posted by Dan at 05:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
You know what the dog means.
Treatment is getting me down and I'll be sleeping through the afternoon.
In the meantime, I found a sweet, sweet website for you to spend the next several minutes of your life perusing. It is called nostalgiacentral.com. Just enter a year and one of several topics (news, pop culture, music, television, etc) and strap yourself in for a ride down memory lane!
Posted by Dan at 01:24 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Now it can be told.
Two days out from treatment, I'm still weak, but I can finally comment on the American Idol finale:
Of course, Carrie won. Duh.
Usually about now I'd launch into the obvious reasoning behind Carrie's big win, but this MSNBC writer does it much better.
Key quotes:
Who could root against her? It would be like booing ice cream and apple pie.
The “Idol” producers could not have drawn up a better contestant if they’d tried. She was straight out of central casting...
And Bo?
He has talent, a large following, and the ability to wear multiple pairs of sunglasses in a single TV episode. He’ll do fine.
Posted by Dan at 09:53 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
I can't help noticing...
...ever since the Yankees bashed their way from the basement to second place in the division, communications from The Hidden Rebel Base have gone WAY down.
Posted by Dan at 03:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Still just in rumor form, but what a rumor!
Posted by Dan at 03:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 26, 2005
This is not going to end well.
Posted by Dan at 01:48 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
A little pick-me-up on a weak day.
Today is the day after chemotherapy as most of you know, and I don't remember ever feeling this weak. Weak as in, a trip up the stairs and back down means another couple hours in bed. Weak as in, flop in the chair and don't bother me until Monday.
So it was nice to receive this email out of the clear blue. I edited some of it down, but I hope it wasn't meant to remain private:
Hi Dan--
Kinda funny how this happened--
8 this morning Central time (im in Texas) I had just gotten into wrk and was browsing the internet looking up cat scans b.c my mom had one on her sinus and ears on tuesday. Blah blah... so anyways i came across your Blog or whatever it is called... I am not to familar with them...
Anyways- I read some of your stuff- you amaze me! i laughed at so many things you wrote and would hurry and scroll down to see another funny picture with another hillarious comment.
I have no real reason to write, just to tell you that i believe that if more people in this world had a sense of humor like you... the world would be so much happier!
Thanks for making my day a little brighter!!!
Lindsay N. Kwait
This is the kind of thing that helps you fight a little more every day, and I am grateful. Thank you for the good word, Lindsay!
PS You can tell she has good taste.
Posted by Dan at 12:43 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Ladies, there's still time to buy this item for your geek husband before Doug Richter outbids you.
The Handmade Princess Leia Sock Monkey is still up for bids!
Posted by Dan at 08:24 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Please arrest me!
A Charlotte, N.C. woman was arrested and jailed after police said she called 911 dispatchers 20 times in a little more than a half-hour — all to complain that a pizza parlor wouldn't deliver.
Full tale of stupidity here.
Posted by Dan at 08:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Here's an article for the kids who were running their mouths all the way through Star Wars 3, one of the few movies I'll see while I'm sick.
600 Choice Words for the Chatterers, by Peter Mehlman, a television writer and producer who worked on "Seinfeld."
Posted by Dan at 08:13 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
May 25, 2005
How today's chemo treatment reminded me of Spider-Man 2.
Remember near the end of the movie, when our hero, Spider-Man 2, was holding up a wall that was about to crush the delectable Kirsten Dunst?
Remember how, just at the peak of danger, Spider-Man 2 found the strength to lift the wall and toss it aside?
Imagine a weaker Spider-Man 2. Imagine the wall crunched his already worn out body. That was today.
Still, I am alive and I'm taking an Ambien and going to bed, so things can't be all bad. Right?
Posted by Dan at 08:42 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Tossing a little culture to you savages.
Here's a nice read while I'm at the doc's: Sheila's take on the wife in Field of Dreams.
You'll also note that just below this post, she linked to Popping Culture, which shows she has taste.
Posted by Dan at 07:09 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
How do you counter the evil of Star Wars? With a dancing Jesus, of course!
Thanks to Kimm for this important link.
Posted by Dan at 06:44 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
May 24, 2005
I remember how much Joel liked this one, so it must be pretty messed up.
Just a little something to ponder while I'm off doing my Wednesday chemotherapy.
Posted by Dan at 09:36 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
It's the only "must see" movie EVER.
And i got yer trailer right here.
Posted by Dan at 09:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Guilty! Guilty!
I mean, c'mon, would an innocent man have that hair?
Posted by Dan at 05:01 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Feel smarter instantly by reading this story.
Posted by Dan at 04:55 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Chemotherapy tomorrow!
Posted by Dan at 09:17 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Popping Cancer Update: what comes next.
Tomorrow is chemotherapy. Next Wednesday is more chemotherapy. The following week we re-take CATscans.
If you remember, last cycle's scans were inconclusive. The tumors hadn't changed in size. This is good or bad, depending on your perspective. Bad because we need the tumors to shrink and go away. Good because cancer, if left alone, always grows, so at least there is an indication that treatment is doing SOMETHING.
In any case, more scans in three weeks. I said last cycle's scans were "make or break," but instead they turned out to be a push. So let us call THIS cycle's scans the make or break ones, ok?
This means, of course, that you have to stay tuned to Popping Culture for another three weeks.
Suckers.
Posted by Dan at 09:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
The Myth of Cheap Tickets.
Ok. I finally have had enough with the chemotherapy and the feeling just a little bit weaker every three weeks, so this is what I did: I took a week off. Yes. I do chemotherapy Wednesday (tomorrow! yay!), then again the following Wednesday.
THEN... instead of a week off to get just enough strength to survive the next immediate round of chemotherapy, I'm taking an extra week off. So, just when I'm starting to feel well again, instead of chemotherapy I have... another week off! My theory is that I feel like a regular human for a week, then return refreshed and stronger than ever to resume treatment.
That's my theory. As is often the case with theories, however, reality (in this case, reality comes in the form of a checkbook) is working against us.
Mrs. Popping Culture and I have plans to get to the beach - specifically a cabin on the Outer Banks of North Carolina owned by a friend of Mrs. Popping Culture's mother. The drive home is 10 hours, then another 2 to the beach, so I'm thinking that it might be a bit much to have to tolerate in the shape I'll be in, even if we split it up over two days of driving.
All that to say, we want to fly. Of course, a week at the tourist-trap beach and airfare are not normal expenses when you're living on disability checks for the first time in your 36 years.
All THAT to say, Bill Shatner keeps coming on my television, telling me I can fly around the world for 37 cents if I just click on Priceline or whatever cheap tickets website at just the right time. Air fare might really be the difference between whether we vacation on the sunny Outer Banks or watch random bits of trash float ashore on Lake Erie, so I really don't need Mr. Shatner pulling at my trouser leg just now.
I've never had any luck finding cheap tickets online. Each site has a story about how a family of twelve flew to southern India for fourteen dollars, but I suspect those are stories told to pull you in.
The deposit on the cabin should all but use up our vacation money... have any of you ever had luck with cheap tickets? If so, what site did you use, how did you find the fare, and did you have to leave at 3:30 a.m. hopping on one leg and reciting the Star Spangled Banner to get the discount?
Posted by Dan at 08:56 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 23, 2005
Are you ready for a Friends reunion movie on the big screen?
Negotiations have each friend hauling in $19 million.
Posted by Dan at 09:33 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Chew. Swallow. You don't want anything in your mouth for this or you might spit it out involuntarily.
It's the Parade of Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes.
Even if I was able to breathe normally, I'd be struggling after visiting this site.
Posted by Dan at 01:59 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
I've been up one hour and I've taken a tyroid pill, two heart pills, a lasix and some decongestant.
Welcome to my world.
Posted by Dan at 09:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Something else you didn't know about your humble host.
Before the current cancerous setback, I was big with the genealogy. I have my father's side traced back to England, and more than one relative of my mother's side who came over on the Mayflower. My mother's side also has a particularly interesting Revolutionary War hero's information listed.
Sadly, all the photos on the site are from when I was really fat - I've lost about 85 pounds since the Christmas photo. Check out my family!
Posted by Dan at 08:39 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Reason to live #4,519
The next-gen Nintendo system, the "Revolution," not only boasts a Legend of Zelda game that looks almost photo-realistic, but the system itself will (finally) be online, allowing you to - get this - download ALL the old Nintendo library, including all NES and SNES games. They are discussing downloading prices, but one strong implication at E3 was that the downloads would be free.
Posted by Dan at 08:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 22, 2005
Quick! To sleep, Cat Wonder!
It has been suggested on this very blog that we come out with a Deathbed Dan action figure. Not a bad idea, but every hero needs a sidekick. Looking around the house, all I can come up with is Petered-out Polly, the Cat Wonder.
Posted by Dan at 04:51 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
Popping Cancer Update: no update this weekend.
Eh. It's my week off chemotherapy and for a change, I feel pretty good, thanks to the removal of a good bit of the fluid in my lungs.
I know it's more interesting when I'm making profound insights while on my deathbed, but until Wednesday's chemo treatment, you're going to have to deal with a Dan that is actually out and about.
I promise to get back to the near-death experiences later in the week.
Posted by Dan at 09:28 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
Hot dog! Weinermobile saved after close call!
Full legislative drama here at Adfreak.
Posted by Dan at 09:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Is it me, or has the ACLU become just plain mean?
I'm a Christian pastor (granted, I'm on haitus with the cancer) and even I'm against forcing people to listen to Christian prayers if they don't want to hear them. I'm perfectly happy keeping secular events, organizations, schools and the like secular and letting individuals decide their own spiritual fate.
However, the ACLU is going a bit overboard these days. Now they have sent out a call for those who pray "in Jesus' name" to be, quote, "removed from society." Ouch.
The ACLU asked a federal judge to send those who prayed publically in one Louisiana school TO JAIL.
Wow. I mean, I'm all for sensitivity to other religions, but don't you think jail is a bit much for public prayer?
Posted by Dan at 09:19 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
May 21, 2005
Weekend ponderable.
Posted by Dan at 09:41 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
The latest from the very clever Starbucks Gossip site.
An Alabama couple gets married at Starbucks.
In my imagination, the groom looked nervous the whole time. Then again, to be fair, everyone who frequents Starbucks looks a little shaky after a while.
Posted by Dan at 02:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Voice of Fred Flintstone Dies at 85
Henry Corden, the voice of cartoon caveman Fred Flintstone's "Yabba-dabba-doo!" for more than two decades, has died. He was 85. Story here.
Posted by Dan at 08:42 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 20, 2005
Busted!
Posted by Dan at 05:57 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Evil! Evil! Make it stop!
This video from Japan of a new robot cat is, I think, supposed to be cute and adorable. It gives me the creeps. All I can see is hundreds of these things taking over Japan, then Youngstown, Ohio.
No sleep for me tonight.
Posted by Dan at 10:41 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Less than two weeks left! Celebrate now!
May is, of course, National Rutabaga Month!
If you're late in starting your rutabaga-based partying, you better click here for all your rutabaga needs, including it's critical role in Halloween celebrations and the much-loved "RUTACAM," which is of course a constantly-updated streaming video of an exciting experiment in progress at the Advanced Rutabag Studies Institute's (ARSI) laboratories.
Posted by Dan at 10:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
OOOHHHH, that's sneaky!
A Richdale Food Store owner in Massachusetts took a woman's lottery ticket, glanced it over, told her she'd won $2, and paid the lady.
But that evening, the store owner went to a lottery office in Woburn and cashed in a winning lottery ticket with the same numbers that were on the woman's card, for a $46,000 jackpot. Sneaky sneaky.
Police said the rat faces felony charges of receiving stolen property and larceny over $250.
Posted by Dan at 10:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 19, 2005
Challenge Darth Vader!
This spooky cat can, like, read your mind and stuff. Creepy.
Posted by Dan at 03:57 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack
Fox Television rises three notches in my estimation.
Their new fall lineup includes, get ready, NO REALITY TELEVISION.
Allah be praised! Now if we can get the other networks on board.
Other than that the pickings were pretty slim on the lineup, though. This looks like it might be interesting:
Bones, a drama about a forensic anthropologist (Emily Deschanel) at the Smithsonian who helps an agent (Angel's David Boreanaz) with murder investigations. Likely teamed with House on Tuesdays.
Posted by Dan at 03:47 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
More thoughts on self-image: pictoral version.
So which one are you?
Posted by Dan at 07:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Popping Cancer reflection: On self image.
Long-term cancer is a constant battle with self-image and worth.
Recently I've been suffering from fears that I don't exist. That is to say, I sit in the same chair in front of the television or computer all day and feel miserable, simply because there's nothing else for me to do, and many days there's nothing else I CAN do.
I used to be the spiritual caretaker of a church. I would attend to my marriage, do the shopping since my schedule was more flexible, walk the dog three times a day, go to school four hours away, plan for the future, pay the bills and manage our household finances. Now, I sit and ask Mrs. Popping Culture for help with things like pouring a glass of milk or turning up the thermostat.
It's easy to get depressed, to feel less like a being of worth than a huge sucking need in that same chair every day. It's easier still when you consider the guilt I feel at watching Mrs. Popping Culture have to do all those things I used to do, as well as live her own life. It's frustrating and stupid and it makes me angry. Cancer makes me angry.
I don't think there is any real answer other than endurance. On the few days I feel well enough to get out and do, I try to get out and do. Days like this last week, where my only possible goal each morning is just to survive the day or at least endure it, all I can do is try to accept the fact that I am where I am right now. One day I'll get my life back, but for now this is how it has to be.
It's hard and unfair on Mrs. Popping Culture and it's hard and unfair on me, but isn't that a reflection on life itself? Unless you are Paris Hilton, you have things you have to do that you'd rather not. Life isn't fair and nobody, not even God in the Bible, promised life would be fair. Bad things happen and sometimes after all the prayer and charity and good will, all there is left is just to find a way to deal with it. To survive. To endure.
So today I'm going to sit in my chair and keep surviving. Today I'm not a pastor. I won't be walking the dog or running to the store or doing any homework. Today my work is to get through the day alive, to keep breathing even though my lungs are full of fluid, to keep being angry at cancer, and to try to hang on to the dreams of who I was and who I will be once again after this thing is beaten.
You can lose to cancer by dying, of course, but you can also give up your dreams. You can become a professional cancer patient (and that will last far beyond your cure from the disease itself) and you can give up your self-image and let cancer take you over body and soul. As a chaplain I learned that cancer ends the lives of more people than it kills, if you get the concept.
I've decided: not me. I still have dreams and plans for the future. Maybe today I'll feel well enough to work on them, or maybe today I'll be too sick and pained to do more than just get through the day. I have faith to believe that however it ends up, I will be in the hands of a loving God when it's over. I have strength to get through today if getting through today is the only goal life offers. I have courage to do what I can to hang on to who I am on those days when I have enough strength to choose between fighting for my life or sitting depressed in that same chair.
I can beat cancer, live or die, by simply claiming and keeping possession of that Dan Champion who is waiting to be a pastor again, to walk to dog again, to buy the groceries again. Waiting as long as it takes to endure the work I have to do right now.
Posted by Dan at 07:11 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
May 18, 2005
X-Men 3 news that I don't know how to feel about.
First of all, Juggernaut will join the evil Magneto's band. That's pretty sweet. Juggernaut lived up to his name in the comics as the huge, helmeted half-brother of Charles Xavier.
Secondly, we have an interesting casting choice: Kelsey Grammer as Beast, the big blue furry genetic scientist. Interesting. Any reactions? Of course, Beast was always the smartest of the X-Men and was a tall drink of blue water, which Grammer fits in both ways. Still, we're talking about Frazier.
Posted by Dan at 08:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Popping Cancer Update: new drugs!
I saw the doctor today because of my trouble breathing, my chest cold and my difficulty sleeping.
This is what he came up with:
-Lasix daily. This is a water pill, which means I should be running to the bathroom fairly often, but also means that the fluid in my lungs might finally go away.
-Ambien nightly. This is a pill to help me sleep.
I have no chemotherapy until Wednesday, so the hope is that all these issues sort themselves out by then. As I've been telling folks, other than being unable to breathe, I feel fine.
Posted by Dan at 08:10 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
From Popping Culture's paleontology desk.
Big Stupid Tommy clears up a few recent scientific misconceptions about the Stegosaurus.
Posted by Dan at 03:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Worst yearbook superlative EVER.
Boynton Beach High's 2005 yearbook lists Robert Richards as "most whipped," a term used to mean most controlled by his girlfriend.
The problem? Richards is black, his girlfriend is white, and the photo shows Richards with a leash around his neck.
Ouch. Don't they have staff advisors and yearbook editors for these things?
It gets better: Another photo, of the winners of the "Most Likely To Be On Jerry Springer" category, features a male student pretending to be on the verge of hitting a female with the back of his hand.
Whatever happened to "class clown"???
Posted by Dan at 10:36 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Popping Culture inspirational moment.
Posted by Dan at 05:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
The most important issue surrounding the Newsweek scandal.
Jon Stewart happened to take this week off from The Daily Show. Shame, really. Think of the fun!
Posted by Dan at 01:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 17, 2005
Brain Candy
This time from yet another under-heralded American poet.
Pretty Words
Poets make pets of pretty, docile words:
I love smooth words, like gold-enamelled fish
Which circle slowly with a silken swish,
And tender ones, like downy-feathered birds:
Words shy and dappled, deep-eyed deer in herds,
Come to my hand, and playful if I wish,
Or purring softly at a silver dish,
Blue Persian kittens fed on cream and curds.
I love bright words, words up and singing early;
Words that are luminous in the dark, and sing;
Warm lazy words, white cattle under trees;
I love words opalescent, cool, and pearly,
Like midsummer moths, and honied words like bees,
Gilded and sticky, with a little sting.
Elinor Wylie
Posted by Dan at 09:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Grumpy.
Thanks to the fluid in my lungs (what a fun way to start a sentence!), I only slept in fits and starts of about 45 minutes per last night.
I'm tired and I'm grumpy and I'm gonna take naps all day. The only time I ever get in a bad mood (barring tragedy, of course), is when I'm tired. Paris Hilton better not say anything else stupid today.
Posted by Dan at 08:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Your favorite word that's not in the dictionary?
Others include "Confuzzled," "whoot," "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," and several Harry Potterisms.
I suspect they have too much time on their hands over at Merriam-Webster, which sponsored the event.
Posted by Dan at 08:06 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Crap.
Kylie Minogue Diagnosed With Breast Cancer.
Cancer is a jerk.
Posted by Dan at 08:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 16, 2005
Maybe this is the Nyquil talking...
... but the news today gives me a case of the mixed messages.
Photo via Defamer. Nice rack, by the way.
Posted by Dan at 07:42 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Popping Cancer Update: The Bad Day
Forgive me for not showing up today. Today was the bad day.
I have fluid in my left lung. This makes it hard for me to sleep and I sound like a vacuum cleaner when I try to breathe while in the bed. This in turn makes me tired from not sleeping, which of course makes me more sick, and on and on. I took a pill yesterday that was supposed to help, but the furnace kicked off last night so the cold air did me more harm than good. I'm not fond of the idea of a needle in my lungs to drain fluid.
Add to that the miracle of joint pain. The drugs they gave me Wednesday are apparently working overtime because everything hurts. I want to lay in bed and moan, but again with the breathing. So I've alternated 45 minute spurts of sleep/rest with hobbling to my chair in pain for as long as I can stand to sit there.
I could use a good night's sleep. Whatever you can do to help with that would be greatly appreciated - prayer, power crystals, good mojo, fine intentions, passing thoughts - I'll take what I can get.
Mostly, I just wanted to let you know I'm here, I'm just suffering right now, which I guess is part and parcel of having cancer sometimes. It is the work I must do, and there's not enough Advil in the world to get the job done.
Posted by Dan at 07:18 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
May 15, 2005
Sunday disturbance.
It's the end of the world as we know it...
... so we must be almost to Houghton.
Posted by Dan at 04:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
JK Rowling bypasses mainstream reporters for Harry Potter release.
Here's a nice story. Instead of going large with the press release, J.K. Rowling has decided to unveil Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (book 6 of 7) to a more intimate group of 70 cub reporters between the ages of 8 and 16 on Sunday, July 17.
The lucky brats get a free signed copy of the book and my eternal jealousy. Just after midnight on July 16, Rowling is going to read excerpts from the book to the kids in, no less, the Great Hall at Edinburgh Castle.
Jealous, jealous, jealous.
Posted by Dan at 04:20 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
New Jackson Pollock!
A trove of 32 previously unknown works by abstract art icon Jackson Pollock has been discovered by a family friend, who said Friday he would like them to tour internationally and be studied by art historians.
Not a bad find considering that last year a Pollock painting sold for nearly $12 million.
These are earlier works, from before Pollock was well-known, but still. Story here.
Posted by Dan at 04:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 14, 2005
Paranoid? Wanna be?
That's a bit end-timesish even for me.
Posted by Dan at 05:12 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack