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December 31, 2005

2005 Bites; 2006 Not Looking Much Better

I don't know how this works for other widows, but New Year's Eve has surprisingly been the worst so far. Worse than my birthday or his, worse than autumn or Halloween, worse than Thanksgiving or Christmas. I think this is so for two reasons. New Year's is all about reflecting on the past year and looking forward to the coming year. Well, my past year sucked and the coming year doesn't look too hot, either. I know things will get better and Jesus loves me and blah, blah, blah. But I still have eight months of firsts ahead of me so I'm not real excited about watching the ball drop at midnight tonight.

Also, this is the last year my husband was alive. He never saw 2006. No memory of 2006 will have anything to do with him. Right now, I just can't imagine a whole year with no Danny.

I'm not sure yet how I will not be celebrating the arrival of 2006. As far as I'm concerned, it can stay away for another year. I may be with friends or I may decide to curl up with a good Lunesta until the deed is done and pretend it didn't happen until I have to record something in my check register.

Posted by Stephanie at December 31, 2005 01:05 AM

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Unfortunately you are right. There is nothing anyone can say to you to make 2006 any easier because 2005 did suck for you. The only thing that I can say is know there are people that love you and are praying for you and remembering Dan with love. Take care of yourself, that's important!


Posted by: Carla [TypeKey Profile Page] at January 2, 2006 04:17 PM

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